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Sean Garrity

Sean Garrity is Co-Founder and CEO of the Gainesville Burger Club. He's been searching for the perfect burger all of his life and aims to share that quest with the rest of humanity.

Bun in a Million: GBC’s Favorite Burgers in Gainesville and Beyond

by Sean Garrity, CEO, GBC

Gainesville Burger Club has become a household name, and it’s pretty tough for our members to maintain anonymity in such a small town these days. As a result, we’re commonly approached in public and asked, “Who has the best burger in Gainesville?” The price of fame, I suppose. 

But the question isn’t always an easy one to answer. It’s hard to pit the fast food-style burgers of Mac’s and Sandwich Inn against, say, a pub-style burger like those served at Loosey’s or The Top. They’re two completely disparate burger designs. Both fall under the burger genus, but are separate species, taxonomically speaking. 

Some GBC members about to eat some burgs.

There is also a certain calculus to our rating system that takes into account a range of considerations in its rubric. We weigh burger : bun ratio, topping relevancy, side items, meat quality, and cheese consistency, among other factors. This is fuckin complicated stuff, man. 

So let’s set some of the hard science aside for a moment and take an anecdotal glimpse into how our membership feels about some of our town’s best burger offerings. We’ll also get some insight into regional favorites and world-class burger cuisine from around the globe. Well, maybe that part will be limited to the United States, as most of us are under-traveled, uncultured swine.  

Gainesville’s Best Burgers According to GBC

Our members mostly agreed that the burgers that made the favorites list below belong there for myriad reasons. However, one item of import to note is that we are not fuckin’ Yelp here. And we’re definitely not anything like that one guy who “Ate Gainesville,” disparaging nearly every establishment in town and insulting kitchen workers from Williston Road to Turkey Creek in the process. It’s not our aim to badmouth any restaurant in a public forum. 

Instead, we’re here to sing praises of the places we think are the bee’s knees. And our members weren’t shy to share their faves. 

The Top’s Messi burger.

“My favorite burger spot in Gainesville is the Top,” said GBC Resident Artist Edie Shaub. “The burger is consistently perfect but it’s also combined with a hip atmosphere and usually a great cocktail too. I feel cool when I’m there, and that adds intrinsic value.” 

The Top is cool, to be sure, and GBC members are lit af, fam. If you recall, The Top also recently won the inaugural Gainesville Burger Club Mark Morchel Lifetime Acheesement Award – a well-deserved honor. 

Chief Wellness Officer Jake Crown is another big fan of The Top. 

“My order: the Big Top Burger, add bacon,” Jake said. “Secret sauce adds flavor without taking over. Crispy fries on the side, ice-cold 72 Pale Ale draft. It’s consistent and solid.”

GBC Member-at-Large David Pinner went in a bit different direction. “Right now, I think the title is tied between DJ’s Cast Iron and Goldie’s,” he said.

And I agree with David on DJ’s. That burger comes pretty close to perfection with its flawlessly smashed-and-griddle-crisped patties. In fact, the craftsmen behind the flattop smash them so expertly the result is a razor-thin salty meat lace that exemplifies how the Maillard reaction works. 

Mac’s is also a very popular choice among GBC members. It’s a Gainesville institution that’s been pumping out fast food-style masterpieces for decades, so our love of the place makes sense. 

A lot of us also agree that one of the best burgers we’ve ever eaten in Gainesville came from GBC Resident Griddleman Brian Grill’s backyard. When his membership was in its infancy, Brian invited the entire GBC Executive Committee over to sample his perfectly executed Oklahoma-style smash burgers. So much pressure on such a new member to perform. But he was definitely up to the task. So salty. So crispy. Onions so sweet. Buns so squishy. Oh, man. 

“I agree with adding The Grill’s backyard to the list,” said Liz Rogers, GBC Member Emeritus. “Those burgs were legit restaurant quality.” 

All that said, here’s our list of Gainesville greats. They’re in alphabetical order because we want you to visit them all, not just the one at the top of the list! 

  • Big Mill’s 
  • Crybaby’s 
  • Dick Mondell’s 
  • DJ’s Cast Iron
  • Goldie’s
  • Loosey’s 
  • Mac’s 
  • New Deal Cafe
  • Public & General 
  • Relish
  • Sandwich Inn
  • The Grill’s Backyard 
  • The Top

Revered Regional Burgers 

There are some damn good burgers surrounding the Gainesville city limits that are definitely worthy of note. So we asked our members what some of their favorite burgers were within a few-hundred-mile circumference. 

“Tough one, but I think Bev’s in High Springs takes the cake,” David said. 

Great minds think alike, and I have to agree with him on this one, too. For me, Bev’s is Americana. It’s the burger stand we all see in our dreams. The offerings there are simple and come as close as possible to the Platonic ideal of burger. Soft, squishy buns, American cheese, LTOP, mustard, mayo, ketchup. They serve up shakes, funnel cake and a host of other offerings to make your mouth water. The High Springs location (there’s one in Alachua, and now Newberry, too) is perfect for grabbing a quick and delicious bite after floating the Itchetucknee or swimming in the area’s many springs.

Toasting a trio of burgers at Bev’s.

Social justice advocate and GBC Member-at-Large Leigh Scott loves Bev’s, too. 

“Although, I swear to God it’s been closed the last ten times I’ve tried,” he said. “I think I go out to the springs on days it’s not open.” 

And he’s probably right. Sunday is a perfect springs day, and, alas, it’s the only day Bev’s is closed. 

I’d also be remiss not to mention Angel’s Dining Car here. In the same vein as Bev’s, Angel’s is the ideal stop on the drive back to Gainesville from the beach. Located right next to the St. Johns river in Palatka, Angel’s claims to be Florida’s oldest diner. And the old Airstream that houses the dining room and counter really back up that statement. The burgers harken back to a simpler time. They’re delicious and platters are served with fries and a few onion rings. The special sauce is a tangy mustard-relish concoction that complements the salty, rich patties. I love that place. 

Edie takes us way over to Floribama for her regional favorite. She’s originally from Pensacola, and has a few burger spots in her hometown that she will never forget. Among these is Jerry’s Drive-In. 

“Back in the day, Jerry’s was the epitome of a locals only hang out,” Edie said. “There were always old men drinking at the bar and the walls covered with team pennants, nostalgia, and dirty jokes. It’s one of the many great dives in Pensacola.” 

According to Edie, the burger is a classic griddle burger with a good crisp. 

“Nothing fancy, but it was the best!” she said. “Jerry’s is still open but with new ownership. The place remains essentially with the same old character but it has been spiffed up a bit and in that something was lost. The burger is still good but they should have never cleaned the cooktop.”

She also said that Blue Dot and Tops were other Pensacola locales worth mentioning. Maybe we should coordinate a GBC road trip!  

I was unable to obtain a quote from Brian Grill about his regional favorites before this post went live. But that guy had some really good things to say about a Jacksonville joint called Carolina Jax. And I’d trust Brian with my life if it depended on a good burger recommendation. The dude knows his burgs. Just take a gander at the Carolina Jax Instagram feed, and you’ll see some glorious creations coming out of that place. 

The Carolina Jax burger.

As a Florida native, I’ve been eating burgers around the state for almost a half century. So I’ve seen some greats come and go. Some of the best that still persist for me are Hollywood’s Le Tub, Ft. Lauderdale’s Jack’s Old Fashioned Hamburgers, and El Cap in St. Pete. 

Here are some of our members’ favorite spots across Florida (in alpha order): 

  • Angel’s 
  • Bev’s Better Burger
  • Blue Dot and Tops
  • Carolina Jax
  • El Cap
  • Flamingo Diner
  • Jack’s Old Fashioned Cheeseburgers
  • Jerry’s Drive-In
  • Le Tub

World-Class Burger Cuisine 

Most of our members find their favorite burgers right here in good ol’ Gainesville, Florida. But some of us have found some gems in points far and wide. For me, two stand out as representing some of the best the world has to offer. 

About 10 years ago, I stumbled upon a joint in New Orleans called Company Burger. Their namesake burger consists of two thin patties, bread-and-butter pickles, red onions and American cheese. Pretty damn simple, but each component is done perfectly. The bark on the patties is crunchy and salty. The onions are sliced razor thin. And, while I’m more of a dill guy, the B&B pickles add an acidic sweet and sour element that really compliments the other ingredients and brings everything together. Company Burger also boasts a mayonnaise bar, so there’s that, too.

But probably one of the best burgers I’ve ever eaten came from a surprising little hole-in-the-wall place in Seattle last month. FamilyFriend serves up some of the best Guamanian food around. Menu items include the likes of adobo chicken, Langka Kadun Pika rice bowls, kelaguen tostadas, and bowls of to-die-for corn soup. But the highlight on the menu is their Kewpie Burger. 

The unassuming Kewpie Burger from FamilyFriend in Seattle.

While other menu items are served-up all fancy, with presentations reminiscent of fine dining restaurants, their smash burger comes on a metal tray wrapped in wax paper. It’s gooey. It’s tangy. It’s salty. It’s fuckin perfectly delectable. Please go there and try it. 

Our next couple of world-class faves hail from the Midwest. 

“Gonna have to dig deep, but I think there was a Juicy Lucy in Madison, Wisconsin, at an Irish Pub that has never been topped,” said David. “But that was many years ago and I can’t remember the name of the pub!”

But we do know the name of another establishment in the Great Lakes region serving up a famous Juicy Lucy. According to Brian, Matt’s Bar in Minneapolis, Minnesota, is hard to top. It’s Brian’s favorite burger of all time, and that’s really saying a lot. 

Jake went with a chain, but it’s a good one.

“My favorite burger anywhere is Five Guys,” he said. “It’s simple and solid with no BS attitude. None of that ‘whiskey-barrel-aged blah, blah, blah’ or unnecessary ingredients. Best fries on earth, too.” 

This last choice from Edie is going to raise some eyebrows. I know I was a bit shocked at this selection. But, bear with us here. I think it makes good sense.

“My favorite burger worldwide is consistently McDonald’s,” Edie said. “Not because McDonald’s is so great, but because it’s so familiar and consistent.”

Holy shit! McDonald’s? That was my first reaction, too. I mean, their fries are the gold standard for me. But the burgers? However, Edie’s a world traveler, and her choice here is based on nostalgia and comfort. 

“Enjoying local cuisine is one of my favorite things about traveling, so I don’t seek out burgers,” she said. “By the time I’m having a burger while traveling abroad, it’s because I’ve been gone for a while and I just need something familiar. This has been true for me in London, Paris and Tokyo. I was having the best food of my life in Japan, but after 10 days, McDonald’s was a nice break. A palette cleanser of sorts.”

And after all, isn’t comfort what a burger is all about? Eat the burgers that make you feel good and loved. Nestle up to a smash burger platter and think about home, family, friends, and revel in living the good burger life. 

GBC’s Favorites Around the World: 

  • Company Burger, New Orleans
  • Family Friend, Seattle 
  • Little’s Food Store, Atlanta
  • Matt’s Bar, Minneapolis 
  • McDonald’s, Locations Worldwide
  • Unnamed Pub, Madison

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Getting to the Bottom of the Topping Debate

by Sean Garrity, CEO, GBC

I’ve said for quite some time that a burger closest to its Platonic ideal would likely be constructed with a potato roll, two well-seasoned thin griddled patties, American cheese, finely diced onions, dill pickles, and yellow mustard. Doesn’t that sound perfect? Well, it may come as a surprise to learn that people like to put all kinds of other shit on their burgers. 

If you were to ask a few random strangers on the street about their thoughts on burger toppings, they’d probably take out the mace and request that you slowly back away, you fuckin’ weirdo. 

But if we were to conduct a more scientific study based on survey data and a random sampling of restaurant menus, we may be able to devise a testable hypothesis stating that lettuce, tomato, onion, and pickles (LTOP) are the standard veg to rest between the buns. We’d also likely end up with mayo, ketchup and mustard as the requisite condiments. 

Holy Toppings! Look at all that stuff covering the burg! What are your thoughts?

This makes me feel uncomfortable, to be sure. But I can see reasons for the pervasiveness of LTOP. Lettuce adds a crunch. Tomatoes provide a certain sweetness and freshness, onions bring a snap of tang and pungency, and pickles lend the acid component that’s needed to break through the richness of the patty and cheese.  

The main gripe I have with toppings is that they can, sometimes, rail against the GBC philosophical assertion that espouses “the whole burger must be something greater than the sum of its parts.” According to the GBC scoring rubric, a good burger eats like a symphony where each movement plays an integral role – but, when placed in the context of the totality, they create a masterpiece that sings to the heavens. Praise burg. 

What the Experts Say About Burger Accoutrements

To get to the bottom of the topping debate, we asked our members their thoughts. And, as expected, opinions were all over the culinary map.  

GBC Member-at-Large David Pinner said he normally orders his burgers with whatever toppings are included on the menu listing. That way, he is really able to wrap his mind around the chef’s thought processes. 

“I’m always trying to figure out what their intent was in the flavor and crunch of a particular burger,” he said. 

David is a big fan of lettuce, tomatoes, and dill pickles, which seems to conform to majority consensus. However, he also noted that there are some other toppings that can really make a burger for him.

“A good melting cheese – American is great, but I also like provolone,” David said. “And bacon! I’m also a fan of French-fried onions. They can give the burger a nice crunch.” 

GBC Cheesiest Executive Officer Buddy Schaub and Member-at-Large David Pinner sit with other GBC Members contemplating toppings at Big Mill’s.

GBC Artist-in-Residence Edie Schaub diverges from David’s approach and told us she’s not always too keen on accoutrements. 

“I only get toppings on certain burgers like Mac’s or Bev’s,” she said. “If I get them, it’s LTO and mayo or special sauce. Good, crisp lettuce adds nice texture and freshness and it works to counterbalance the greasy meat and cheese.”

Edie’s approach is well-thought-out and makes a lot of sense, much like longtime GBC member Jay Hogsette’s. 

Jay is a principled man who enjoys the simple pleasures of mustard, pickles, and onions on his burger. And he has sound reasons for this construction preference.

“I normally get just mayo and cheese to get the full flavor of the seared crust of the burger,” Jay said. “But I’ll add the mustard, pickles, and onion to make it a bit stronger and add to the saltiness.” 

Buddy Schaub, GBC’s Cheesiest Executive Officer, has a kind of laissez-faire attitude toward condiments. 

“I’ll switch it up, sometimes Mayo and Ketchup, sometimes Catsup and Mustard, sometimes just German Mustard,” he said. “It all depends on which way the winds of my taste buds are blowing that day.”

I think the difference between Ketchup and Catsup, as Buddy spelled them respectively, might warrant its own article. But Buddy’s nihilistic, “Dust in the Wind” condiment philosophy seems to have some merit. Even when confronted with the purposeless void, he still maintains a love affair with sweaty onions that gives his life meaning. 

“I simply love the complexity that caramelized onions bring to a well salted patty,” he said. “Their sweet juices melding with the salty grease in my mouth like the London Philharmonic.”

Innovation or Idiocy: Over-the-Top Toppings

I’ll say it. Too many restaurants rely on what I’d call stunt toppings to hide inadequate burgers. It’s reminiscent of that famous scene from The Wizard of Oz.

“Pay no attention to that burger patty behind the curtain of pork belly and chorizo!” 

The topping relevancy metric in the GBC scoring rubric attempts to hold such monstrosities accountable. But, alas, the document hasn’t gotten the widespread adoption that it commands.

“I hate non-traditional burger toppings like Perogies, Shrimp, or Mac & Cheese,” Edie said. “Those should be separate meals. Perogies are the most ridiculous burger topping.” 

GBC Artist-in-Residence Edie Schaub showing off some excessive onion ring action.

After one too many double-tall whiskey and sodas at an expensive steak house, I once ordered a foie gras-topped burger, complete with goat cheese, marinated cherry tomatoes, roasted garlic, and arugula. I mean, considering my level of intoxication, it was pretty damn good. But it was dumb. And at $42? Dumb AF. 

Buddy would likely agree with my sentiments on organ meat atop the patty.

“I also don’t like a burger topped with the left ventricle of an elk heart lightly basted in port wine,” he said. “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.”

Jay’s also seen some shit. And I must say, I don’t want to know where he’s witnessed such topping madness.  

“Hershey’s syrup, Peanut Butter (that’s becoming a trend now), Pineapples,” he said when asked about weird and wacky toppings. I could hear his eyes roll back in his head at his mention of Hershey’s. 

David’s actually tried peanut butter on a burger. I think I remember watching an episode of the famous George Motz’s show where he traced the history of such a burger back to 1940s Missouri where it’s called a gooberburger. 

“It wasn’t horrible, but I wouldn’t go out of my way to order it again,” David said. 

Some GBC members will remember an early meeting when we took a trip to Krispy Kreme to buy buns for our Luther Burgers. Named after the late Luther Vandross, these Frankensteined burgers leverage two glazed donuts for buns. Indulgent? Yes. Unnecessary? Maybe. 

“Anything where the bun is not the bun but instead something ridiculous like apple fritters, or two grilled cheeses, or deep fried chicken breasts are strictly off the table for me,” Buddy said. “I like Big Buns and I can not lie!”

So there you have it. Does a Platonic ideal exist? I don’t fuckin’ know. You should ask a philosophy major. But excellent burgers do exist. Top them with what you enjoy, unless it’s Hershey’s syrup. Get outta here with that!

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THE TOP Receives the GBC’s Inaugural Mark Morchel Lifetime Acheesement Award

by Sean Garrity, CEO, GBC

For those that didn’t know him, Mark Morchel was a person of integrity and honor. He lived his life looking out for and loving his family and friends. And, maybe most importantly, he was a true connoisseur, forever seeking the ultimate cheeseburger. Sadly, we lost Mark last year. But we wanted to keep his memory alive for eternity by instituting Gainesville Burger Club’s highest honor: The Mark Morchel Lifetime Acheesement Award.

On April 18th, we gathered to celebrate an institution, a beacon of excellence in the world of burgers. For nearly a quarter of a century, THE TOP has been more than just a restaurant; it’s been a cornerstone of our community, a place where memories are made and burgers are savored.

In a world where trends come and go, where tastes evolve and palates change, there’s something truly remarkable about longevity. It speaks to a commitment, a passion, and an unwavering dedication to one’s craft. And we wanted to honor such commitment.

THE TOP co-owner Hal Mendez pictured with Mark Morchel’s wife Maureen Morchel and daughter Liz Weinbender.

We wanted to bestow the inaugural Mark Morchel Lifetime Acheesement Award to THE TOP because, for over two decades, they have tirelessly pursued perfection in every patty, every bun, and every topping. THE TOP has embraced innovation while staying true to tradition, and the restaurant has set the standard for what it means to craft exceptional burgers.

The Gainesville Burger Club wants this award to serve as a testament to the blood, sweat, and tears that have gone into building this culinary legacy. Let it remind us all of the power of passion and perseverance, and let it inspire us to continue pushing the boundaries of what’s possible in the world of burgers.

So cheers to Mark Morchel – we will remember you forever. And cheers to THE TOP — for decades of excellence and unforgettable flavors, and for all of the years of bringing our community together, one burger at a time.

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The Chimichurri Burger Recipe You Didn’t Ask For

by Sean Garrity, CEO, GBC

Gainesville Burger Club Intern Milo Garrity is well-traveled and loves fútbol. So it should be no surprise that the kid’s current favorite burger is the Messi from The Top. Named after the great Argentinian jugador de fútbol, Lionel Andrés Messi, this creation is topped with chorizo, aged provolone, chimichurri, and fried onions. There’s also the option to make it a “Messi a caballo” by adding a fried egg (something I’d recommend, but, alas, Milo doesn’t like those runny yolks). 

“I like the beef. I like the chimichurri. I like the crispy onions,” Milo said. “It’s just so good.”

I recently discovered that the Hard Rock Cafe serves the official Messi burger (a nice sponsorship opportunity for the worldwide sports celebrity to be sure), which is a bit different and donned with chorizo, red onions, some kind of “spicy” special sauce, lettuce and tomato. But I’m willing to bet that The Top’s version is much tastier than the commercially produced burger that chain is putting out. 

Anyway, I wanted to see if I could create my own version of the Messi burger and serve it up to Milo to judge its merits. Here’s how I did it.

Step 1: Make the Chimichurri 

Making the chimichurri first allows the concoction time to marry together while you prep and cook the other components of the dish. You’ll need: 

  • Two bunches of cilantro
  • Three garlic cloves
  • ½ Cup olive oil
  • 2.5 Oz Lime juice
  • Crushed red pepper flakes (to taste)
  • Salt (to taste)

Wash the cilantro, peel the garlic and throw it into a blender or food processor with the lime juice red pepper flakes and salt. Puree the ingredients while slowly pouring the olive oil in. Depending on how much cilantro was in your bunches, you may need more or less oil to reach the desired consistency. 

Put this green goodness into the fridge and grab a beer to drink while you move through the next steps. 

Step 2: Fry the Onions

The fried onion sticks and chimichurri are what really make this burger shine. Some kind of sorcery seems to be at play when the crispy onions meet the creamy, bright, and herbaceous sauce. So frying the onions right is pretty damn important. But don’t fret. It’s pretty fuckin simple. You’ll need: 

  • 1 Yellow onion
  • 1 cup All purpose flour
  • Salt
  • Canola, vegetable, or another oil with a high smoke point

First, slice the onion into rings or sticks as thin as you can possibly get them. If you have a slicer, fuck you. I’m jealous. But you should use that. If not, use a knife like the rest of us plebes. Remember, these aren’t the type of onion rings you’re getting as an appetizer. These are those super thin fried onion sticks akin to those you find in a can in the dry goods section of the grocery store. But we’re making our own because we are fancy AF. 

Now toss a bit of salt on those onion slices. Put your flour into a large bowl or a plastic gallon Ziplock bag and throw those salted onions in, too. Toss until they’re coated. 

Heat up that oil and flick a speck of water in. If it sizzles and disappears, the oil is ready. Grab a handful of the coated onions, shake off the excess flour and place them gently into the grease. Fry those puppies until they’re golden and crispy with no recognizable rawness left on the onions. 

Drain on paper towels or a cooling rack and set aside until you’re ready to assemble.

Step 3: Make the Special Sauce

This is the ultimate eyeball sauce. There are no rules. Make it as spicy as you’d like. Or as bright or creamy as you see fit. Stop asking me to do everything for you! But you will need:

  • Mayo
  • Sriracha 
  • Lime juice 
  • Salt 
  • Pepper
  • Garlic Powder

Mix some combination of those ingredients together and you probably can’t go wrong. This is your chance to experiment. It’s your special sauce. It’s your special purpose. 

Step 4: Cook the Burger and Assemble

OK, home stretch. I used eight-ounce patties with a 70:30 ratio of lean to fat for my version of the Messi. Generously salt those bad boys and throw them into a cast iron pan or skillet or onto a flattop or even a grill if that’s your thing. Cook those babies until a crusty bark develops on each side. Throw some provolone cheese on ‘em and melt that shit. 

I normally don’t like to mention name brands, and I swear I’m not sponsored by them, but Martin’s Potato Rolls are the shit. So throw a Martin’s crown and heel into your pan/flattop/grill and get it all nice and toasty. 

And now for assembly. Apply a generous amount of special sauce to the heel. On top of that, add some dill pickle chips and some shredded iceberg lettuce. Then slap on your burger patty (or patties!). Sprinkle your fried onions over the patty like manna from heaven, and then make it rain with chimichurri sauce. Don’t be shy with these last two ingredients. Again, they make this burger what it is. Finally, top that baby with the crown of the bun and enjoy!

So, how did mine stack up to The Top’s Messi burger?

According to GBC Intern Milo, “No comment.”

I guess this kid wants to keep his internship and future job prospects safe.

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You Want Fries With That?

by Sean Garrity, CEO, GBC

And people say there are no stupid questions… 

French fries have long been known as the quintessential burger side. And for good reason. Those little sticks of potatoey goodness offer the perfect vehicles to sop up the special sauce and runoff dripping from that juicy double-double. Other potential candidates (broccoli, I’m looking at you) just don’t seem to have the same appeal. The portability of fries make them a pragmatic choice. They’re also just fucking good. Really fucking good. 

There aren’t many pleasures in life that can match seeing an order of fries lifted steaming hot and fresh out of the oil and then popping one of those expertly salted beauties into your mouth. The burns on your tongue are worth the ecstasy. Think fluffy on the inside and golden, crispy, and delicious on the outside. Hallelujah! Praise be! Under Burg’s eye! 

French fries have evolved and transformed over millennia and today have separated into a number of unique species. In the modern era, our taxonomic categorization of fried potatoes gives us shoestring (fast food-style), crinkle cut, steak, waffle, curly, wedges, tater tots, sweet potato, homefries, and potato chips (or crisps for our UK-based readers). And this list isn’t exhaustive, I’m sure. 

Each of these variations finds a niche within the world’s culinarily diverse burger cultures. And  while many prefer one variety over the others, it’s probably safe to say that most appreciate all forms of fried potato. (Except sweet potato fries. Their inventor belongs in the ninth circle of hell.)  

We recently surveyed the Gainesville Burger Club membership, and the results on French fry preference were conclusive. The majority – 42% to be exact – preferred fast food-style shoestring fries over all varietals. Let’s take a look at some of the comments and results garnered from our scientific paper. 

As GBC Artist-in-Residence Edie Schaub said, “Frites à la française s’il vous plaît.” (If you don’t speak French, use Google Translate, you barbarian!) 

Livin’ on a Shoestring*

Bunny ears, bunny ears, playing by a tree… How did that old rhyme go that teaches kids how to tie their kicks? Doesn’t matter – we’re talking about shoestring fries. These babies are the stuff of fast food dreams. As the name implies, the fries are as slender as shoestrings but are much tastier than your laces. 

“Different fries complement different dishes, but I think as an accompaniment to burgers, shoestring fries are best,” said Gainesville Burger Club Member-At-Large Jud Philpot. 

In their ideal form, shoestring fries are some of the crispiest in the business but maintain the billowy starchy interior of a much larger fried potato. 

It’s hard to say, but do you know that large burger chain that claims billions upon billions served? (I’m not naming it!) Well, many see its shoestring fries as representing the gold standard of fried potato. And I must (begrudgingly) agree. On the right day, at the right hour (and maybe the stars align and the ice cream machine is in working order, too), the fries coming out of that Scottish restaurant are just so damned perfect. The Platonic ideal of fry. But many other establishments are doing the shoestring justice these days, too. 

“Shoestring are French fry chopsticks, and I’m all for it,” said GBC Chief Wellness Officer Jake Crown. 

More Classic Cuts: Crinkle, Steak, and Waffle 

Man, I’ve heard a lot of hate directed at crinkle cut fries over the years. People have described them to me as being “low rent,” or given me a “lolz, crinklz” upon their mention. Maybe this is because of some childhood trauma associated with the cut they’ve experienced. I mean, most of us have been served cold, soggy crinkle cut fries on our school cafeteria lunch trays. That’s enough to put one off the crinks for good. 

“I like shoestring from McDonald’s (he named it!) but that’s about it,” said GBC member and Van Halen enthusiast Jay Hogsette. “At Culver’s or cooking at home, I always get crinkle cut.”

But these ridged wonders have some surprises in their folds. When properly fried to GBD (golden, brown, and delicious), the crinkles provide a toothsome textural experience. 

“I went with crinkle,” said GBC Legal Counsel Mark Morchel. “Long as a ring finger with a good fry-to-fluff ratio.”

And talk about holding onto dipping sauces. Like a good rigatoni grabs a bolognese, the crinkles trap ketchup, mayo, ranch, burger juice, et al, with striking efficiency. 

“Crinkle rules for holding your choice of condiment, and all those lil folds get so crispy!” said GBC Pastry Chef Nicki Weaver.

But Mike Salay, GBC Secretary of Tattoo, disagreed about crinkle’s condiment adhering performance, saying, “Steak fries are potato spoons.”

Cut thick like a cowboy ribeye, steak fries present a robust and satisfying option. These babies are most commonly found in Jewish delicatessens. Some of the best I’ve had were alongside a hot plate of pastrami at Katz’s in NYC. Piled high and starchy AF, steak fries could even be a meal by themselves. But how are they when accompanying a burger? They’re fried potatoes. They’ll work, but you’re gonna need to adjust your belt! 

Leggo my… Stopping there to avoid copyright infringement. Some people really fucking love waffle fries and will fall on swords defending their royal status. Waffle fries are known for their distinctive grid pattern, which creates a surprisingly light and airy texture when dipped into and retrieved from hot oil. 

GBC Events Planner Stef Jones had a surprising take on the fries with her nod to skateboard culture. 

“Waffle,” she said. “Cos they are the Vans stamp of French fries!” 

There’s a lot of surface area on these bad boys, and that means a crispy canvas to paint with salt and pepper and spatter with your favorite sauce. 

The Fryer Less Traveled: Curly Fries, Wedges, Tater Tots 

OMG, curly fries are so fun and whimsical. The playful corkscrews deliver a twist on this traditional burger side. Often referred to as curls, these spiraling wonders are reminiscent of twirling waterslides leading into pools of ketchup. They are the things of state fairs and music festivals and make great partners for burgers and funnel cakes alike.

In the late 1990s, many then young and spry GBC members found employment at a local establishment called Cafe Gardens, and one of the highlights on the menu were wedges. There, the crispy potato sections were made by baking a bunch of potatoes during the prep shift and cooling them in the walk-in prior to service. Once a ticket emerged with an order, a line cook would cut 1.5 of those baked beauts into wedge shapes, dunk them into the fryer until they were gold and hella crispy, and stick them in a basket with a side of sour cream-based dill dip. Oh là là. C’est magnifique! (Google Translate, you uncultured swine!) These ain’t your grandma’s steak fries. But not everyone agrees that wedges are a good option.

“Steak fries? Just order a baked potato,” said Mark Morchel, Esq. “And wedges are like steak fries with the skin.” 

In recent years, tater tots seem to have made a comeback and now make appearances on burger joint menus everywhere. For a long time, tater tots may have had similar issues as crinkle cuts. There’s nothing worse than a soggy, undercooked tot, man. Total garbage. But when they’re crispy, look the fuck out. These motherfuckers can elevate a meal and, sometimes, even become its star. 

Unconventional Wildcards: Sweet Potato Fries, Homefries, Potato Chips

Sweet potato fries are trash, and I don’t even want to talk about them. Mark Morchel, Esq., may have said it best:

“Sweet potato fries are an interloper on this list. Soggy. Taste like soil. Rarely fried. Never crispy.”

Homefries seem like a strange choice to accompany a burger. However, some years back, we gave the GBC Burger of the Year™ trophy to an establishment that fried up some of the best of these breakfast staples alongside its award-winning burger. These cubes of potato were so goddamn crispy and sprinkled with a generous amount of coarse kosher salt, and it worked! Super good.

Potato chips? Sure, they’re OK in a pinch. Like a picnic or backyard BBQ. But, really, they seem like kind of a cop out if you have frying capabilities. 

So, Do You Want Fries With That?

Oui. Duh.

*To clear up confusion, it’s important to note here that shoestring fries are not the dry-ass potato sticks that come in a can in the dry goods section of the grocery store!)

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Griddled vs. Grilled — Preferential Insights from the Gainesville Burger Club Membership Survey

by Sean Garrity, CEO, GBC

Not everything should be contentious. And it’s not our aim at the Gainesville Burger Club to create controversy. Sure, our last post asked which of the three area institutions, Mac’s, Bev’s, or Sandwich Inn, was the best. Ultimately, we concluded that they all fuckin’ rule, man. 

Yet here we are again with another “versus” question. We asked our members which style of burger preparation they preferred: griddled or grilled. The goal wasn’t so much to create division — to partition groups of hardliners against one another. Rather, the pursuit was purely scientific in nature. It is part of the Gainesville Burger Club’s mission to understand the underpinnings of human nature. To uncover truths about our world and make predictions about our future. And it seems we’ve accomplished this with our small double (cheeseburger) blind study. 

A whopp(er)ing 75% of Gainesville Burger Club members say they prefer griddled burgers over their grilled counterparts. So, let’s explore the reasons behind this preference and delve into what makes both griddled and grilled burgers so great.

Become One with the Flattop

Griddled burgers are cooked on a (wait for it) griddle, which is usually a large iron or nonstick flattop, but can also be, say, a cast iron pan. Patties are sometimes pre-formed and slapped down onto the cooking surface. Other times, a ball of ground beef is plopped onto the griddle and then pressed into a thin patty with a weighted spatula.

This technique is nearly as old as the burger itself, but has gained popularity in recent years with the rise of the smash burger craze. (Note: Imagine a Venn diagram, if you will. Not all griddled burgers are smash burgers, but all smash burgers are griddled burgers.) 

So, what is it about griddled burgers that makes them so attractive to our membership? 

Well, several factors. 

“Can’t we love them all?” said GBC Treasurer Danielle Johnson. “If held to a (grill) fire, I prefer a griddled burger. Griddled tend to be juicier. And if we’re talking smash burgers on the griddle, there’s more surface area for a more even cooking temperature. They also have a nice crispy finish.”

As our money handler noted, griddled burgers are renowned for their ability to develop a crispy crust, sealing in the juices and enhancing flavor. The high heat of the griddle facilitates the Maillard reaction, a chemical process that creates a complex flavor profile through browning. This leads to a savory, umami-rich taste that many find irresistible. 

It is important to note here that properly seasoning the burger as it hits the griddle is imperative to achieve this effect. Salt and pepper help develop that coveted crust and enhance the flavor of the beef. We have eaten so many burgers that could have been contenders for Burger of the Year, but lack of seasoning held them back from the prize. 

Griddled burgers also cook quickly, making them an ideal choice for those seeking a fast, delicious meal. A thin patty meeting a scorching hot flat surface ensures even and rapid cooking, allowing the burger to be prepared to perfection within minutes. It’s convenient and delicious. 

There’s also the question of the toppings best suited to create a griddled masterpiece. Many have become minimalists (or, arguably, purists) these days, citing that the Platonic burger ideal looks like two griddled patties, American cheese, diced raw onions, pickles and yellow mustard. Others prefer some kind of special sauce and load up on lettuce, tomato and griddled onions and mushrooms. It’s really up to the individual, obviously. 

The textural experience offered by griddled burgers is unique. Crispy on the outside, yet still maintaining juiciness, these burgers throw the eater into another dimension of space time. 

“I prefer a griddled burger,” said GBC Artist-in-Residence Edie Schaub. “My favorite burgers are all griddled. In-and-Out is my original favorite, but locally I would recommend DJ’s Cast Iron, Mac’s, and Bev’s. That said, I personally make fantastic smash burgers. A good griddled burger has a thin, juicy patty with a good sear and crispy edges.”

What is That, Mesquite? 

There are, however, some burger enthusiasts in GBC who argue that the thin patty may not provide the same level of meaty satisfaction as a thicker grilled burger.

These grilled burger advocates say this style of preparation offers a distinct flavor and texture profile that’s difficult to match on a griddle. 

“I’m not saying that I prefer grilled over griddled, for all burgs are innocent until proven guilty,” said Buddy Schaub, GBC’s Cheesiest Executive Officer (C.E.O.). “However, there is nothing like the smokey char from a well seasoned grill to seal in those flavorful juices. It can definitely add to the overall experience of the burger unlike any griddling.”

Like our Cheesiest Officer noted, grilling imparts a compelling fire-roasted taste. And the fat dripping onto the coals creates the nostalgic scent of a summertime backyard cookout. Grilling appeals to our inner children, doing cannonballs into the deep end and then reaching for a paper plate and a bun. (Did you know that you don’t really have to wait 30 minutes after eating before getting back in the pool? Our childhoods were filled with many such lies.)

“Grill marks and smoky flavor do make a nice pairing on a grilled burger,” Danielle agreed. “They add authenticity. And who doesn’t like to cook outside?

Grilled burgers also tend to have a thicker patty, which some prefer for its hearty mouthfeel. Another perk of grilling these more substantial morsels is that they can be cooked to temperature. Getting a thin griddled patty to med rare just ain’t going to happen.

“What I like best about a grilled burger is the taste of the flame!” said Edie. “Everyone loves the flavor of a chargrill. It’s primal!”

There’s also the fancy appeal of grilled burgers. Though grilled burgers are the stuff of backyard BBQs, steak houses and fine dining establishments often create custom grinds of decadent short rib and brisket and grill those rich suckers to feed rich folks. Foie gras, lobster, gold leaf, and other adornments sometimes top a grilled creation in these joints. Good idea? Maybe. I’m definitely not turning one down. 

Opinions Are Like Hotdogs

There’s an asshole joke in there somewhere. But, really, what did we learn from this article? Simple: some people like their burgers griddled. Others like them grilled. Whatever your preference, take solace in the fact that you’re eating a fuckin’ burger. In the words of the immortal DLR, “This must be just like living in paradise.”

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